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The Family In Islam
Islam is a complete way of life. It considers the family the corner stone of Islamic society.
It bases the atmosphere in the family on sacrifice, love, loyalty, and obedience.
The peace and security offered by a stable family unit is greatly valued, and it is
seen as essential for the spiritual growth of its members. A harmonious social order
is created by the existence of extended families and by treasuring children. Islamic
family system brings the rights of the husband, wife, children, and relatives into a fine
equilibrium.
When we say "family" we mean the traditional definition of it namely husband, wife and
children. Grandparents are also part of the extended Muslim family. Allah (swt) says
in the Glorious Qura'n:
30:21 "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves,
that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy
between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. "
Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) also stressed these meanings when he said: "The best among you
are those who are best to their families and I am the best of you to my family." He
once exclaimed: "it is only the evil one who abuses them (women) and the honored one
is he who honors them". Once a man came to the Prophet (PBUH) and asked: who is the
person who is most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet answered your mother,
your mother, your mother then your father. That is why Islam made Paradise under the
feet of mothers according to one tradition of the Prophet (PBUH).
If we contemplate the Qura'n we find that it refers to the family relationships in
four main places. The following verses provide Muslim parents with the way they
should bring up their children:
31:13 "Behold, Luqman said to his son by way of instruction: "O my son! join
not in worship (others) with Allah. for false worship is indeed the highest wrong-doing."
31:14 "And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: His mother
bears him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years, Show gratitude
to Me and to the parents: for unto Me is the journeying."
The Quran then continues:
31:16 "O my son!" (said Luqman), "If there be (but) the weight of a mustard-seed
and it were (hidden) in a rock, or (anywhere) in the heavens or on earth, Allah
will bring it forth: for Allah understands the finest mysteries, (and) is
well-acquainted (with them).
31:17 "O my son! establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is
wrong: and bear with patient constancy whatever may befall you; for this is firmness
(of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs.
31:18 "And swell not thy cheek (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the
earth; for Allah loveth not any arrogant boaster.
31:19 "And be moderate in thy pace, and lower thy voice; for the harshest of sounds
without doubt is the braying of the ass."
To the children, Allah (swt) explains the full right of their parents in the following verses.
17:23 "Your Lord has decreed that you worship non but Him, and that (you show) kindness to
parents. Should one or both of them attain to old age with you, Say not even "hoof'' unto
them nor repulse them, but address them in terms of honour".
17:24 "And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord!
Have mercy on both of them as they did care for me when I was little."
17:25 Your Lord is best aware of what is in your hearts: If you are righteous,
verily He is Most Forgiving to those who turn to Him again and again (in true penitence).
The third place in the Holy Quran that refers to parents-children relationship, where
Allah ( S.W.T) says:
46:15 "We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him,
and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is
(a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and
attains forty years, he says, "O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for
The favours which They have bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that
I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue.
Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam."
The forth place in the Qura'n, Allah (swt) explain the exception to the rule of not
obeying the unbelieving parents, while still insisting on respect.
29:8 "We have enjoined on man kindness to parents. And should they strive to make you
join with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto me is your
return and I shall tell you what you used to do."
In conclusion since the family is the corner stone of society, happiness
and prosperity will only be achieved if parents as well as children are
committed to the guidance of the Qura'n and the prophetic teachings.
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